A Medical Predicament
by EternalFaolan
Summary: What happens when RED team respawn but not where they are supposed to be. Follow Medic as he enters a war he was never supposed to be in and discovers some shocking things about his team. (There will be PoVs of the other teammates but the main character is Medic)
1. Teamkiller

"Achtung! Spy!" the German doctor yelled. But it was too late. His comrade, the heavy, had already been backstabbed by their supposed engineer. Without much hesitation the RED Medic pulled out his blutsauger and unloaded all 40 syringes in to the BLU Spy. Strangely enough the Spy had actually died. The Medic almost never got kills. Raising an eyebrow at the body he was undecided whether to celebrate or be confused. Maybe the Spy was already injured and he had just finished him off. That must have been it. Maybe the Sniper had grazed him or the Scout had taken a few whacks at him. Dismissing his recent kill he went back to work with his Quick-fix.

However just as he was about to start healing the RED Soldier he heard a loud buzzing behind him. Quick as a bunny he whipped out his amputator and threw it with surgical precision at the recently uncloaked BLU Spy who fell to the ground with a loud scream. Up on his usual perch the Sniper waved his congratulations to the Medic, "Nice work, mate!"

"Danke," the German returned to his Australian friend. Turning back around he glanced at the fallen Russian and released a brief sigh. He would return to him when he respawned. *back to work* the Medic thought to himself.

"Hey, Yo doc. Need some help over here!" That smart-mouthed Scout always wanted to receive attention from everybody. Of course as soon as the Medic tried to heal him the Scout would already be running into battle, most likely only to be gunned down by the BLU Engineer.

"Of course, Kamerad," The Medic returned sarcastically. The Scout was already rushing in before he could even finish his sentence. The beep of a sentry could be heard and the very common sound of rockets being fired was able to be heard throughout the whole of 2fort, "and there he goes," the Medic said out loud, "Back to vespawn for him I suppose."

The Medic was tired. This battle had been going on for three hours already. And for what? A briefcase full of some mysterious information that the mercenaries wasn't supposed to know about. *Well as long as I get paid I will do anything for that wretched woman.*

As he was about to enter through the ground floor of the enemy base a BLU Heavy and a BLU Soldier had emerged covered in gore. Before they could notice him the doctor threw himself over the railing of the bridge into the water below. The RED Medic was going to go in anyway so he traveled through the BLU sewers. He reached for his amputator only to find it missing. The Medic looked at the other side of his belt. It was missing but where could it have… of course. The Medic had forgotten it in the BLU Spy's chest. He had forgotten about it in the glory of the moment and now he only had his pitiful blutsauger to defend himself.

"Here we go again," the German said only audible by himself. Carefully, and as quiet as he could he sneaked his way to the first bend. BEEP. A sentry gun.

"Verdammt!" the RED Medic whispered to himself. Very carefully he peeked around the corner trying not to let any red show. Good. It was a RED camp not a BLU one. The doctor walked around the corner confidently lowering his weapon which he hadn't noticed he had raised.

"Howdy there pardner," the RED Engi greeted, "you seem like you've seen a peck of trouble," he said glancing at his blood dotted lab coat.

"You could say zat," the Medic positioned himself next to the dispenser and inserted his blutsauger into the "reload" slot and his Quick-fix into the "repair" slot. Quite recently the Engineers have gotten rather organized with their buildings. "Say, vould you happen to have an 'amputator' avound here?" the Medic asked exhausted, "I zost mine in ze enemy double agent."

"Sure thing doc, right over in that bin labeled 'Medic,'" all unattended weapons on the battlefield would teleport to these bins after a while, "and thanks for taken out that Spy. He's been bothering me all day."

"It iz no problem Engi. However I can guarantee he vill be back for more."

"Damn right," the Engi replied, "say would you mind guardin' all this while I go back to spawn and set up teleporter. Well, if you're up for it?" Engineer always liked to tease the Medic about not being able to fight. However whenever Medic told him that all he did was sit behind his buildings he shut up about it real fast.

"Of course. It would be no problem at all," the Medic raised his newly reloaded blutsauger at the RED Engineer, "shall I help you back?" the Medic asked with an evil grin.

The Engineer quickly raised his hands to stop the Medic, "No, No, No. I think I'll walk. Thank you kindly." The Engi picked up his shotgun, pumped it once, and was off.

"Good luck, kamerad!" The Medic hollered at him.

"Yeah, yeah. Just keep my buildings safe!" Now the Medic was alone. Well not really, he had the sentry to keep him company. The exit teleporter sat next to him almost waiting to have a brother to connect with. The Medic stood there for a good five minutes before he got tired and sat on top of the dispenser. Not long after though there was the sound of splashing along with a voice.

"Let's move maggots!" the BLU Soldier shouted at his teammates.

"Mmmphh mph mph," great the Pyro was here too.

"That's the spirit lad," and the Demo. This was going to be interesting. Hopefully this new sentry was what the Engineer stacked it up to be.

"Mmmph mphm mmm mmph (I'll race you there!)" Did they know he was there? Was the sentry nest about to be destroyed with the Medic in it!? The pyro rounded the corner axe raised above his head. BEEP. The pyro was blown to piece by four rockets a once.

The laughter around the corner stopped. "I think there's a sentry up ahead."

"I believe you are right demo!" The sound of a charging stickybomb launcher was heard. *Here it comes* the RED doctor thought. That Demo will destroy him. THUNCK. The sticky landed on the wall next to the dispenser. Thinking very quickly, as his mind was trained to do, the Medic grabbed the spare frontier justice the Engineer had left behind and shot the sticky down.

"Aye, that wee lass of an Engi is there as well," the Demo said worriedly, "maybe we should turn back?"

"No! I am American! I will not let that hard-helmeted Texan take this land. We will destroy the sentry and carry on with the mission! DO YOU UNDERSTAND PRIVATE TWINKLETOES!?" The Soldier sure was determined to take out the sentry. The Medic couldn't fend off a Soldier _and_ a Demo. One maybe, but not both. Right now the sentry was the only defense.

"Yeah, sure lad. I'll just pop a few pipebombs at it. That'll take it out!" The Demo replied confidently.

"Then get to it!" The Demo rounded the corner quickly but stopped when he saw the Medic there. The BLU Demoman died with a bewildered look on his face as the sentry unloaded all its rounds into him. Then there was laughter. But it wasn't the Medic's. Was the Soldier… laughing? Without warning the soldier rounded the corner and stood there. The sentry didn't fire. Was it out of ammo? Did it break? Does the Soldier know some kind of trick? All of these thoughts roared through the Medic's head as a frightened frown grew upon the Medic's mouth. Then without thinking much of anything the medic pointed the Blutsauger at the Soldier and opened fire. The first 40 left him on the ground. Another 40 made him cough up blood and vomit. The next 40 finished him off. Then what the Medic saw next struck him to the core. Quickly, with a puff of smoke, the BLU Soldier transformed into the RED Spy. Teamkiller. The Medic was a teamkiller. Not once before had the Medic ever killed a teammate but now the RED Spy's blood was on his hands. What had he done? No one would ever trust the Medic again if this got out.

Quickly the medic plucked all the 120 syringes from the dead Spy's body and threw them in the dispenser's incinerator. Hopefully the Spy wouldn't tell everybody yet. But hope was all he had. The Spy was unpredictable even after seven years of war with him no one had ever understood his rime or reason. Only that he did his job and did it well. But now the Medic couldn't say that about himself. He was supposed to heal his teammates. Make them feel better. But now he had destroyed one of his own.

What would he do when the Engineer got back? How would he explain the Spy's body lying on the ground? The German doctor sunk down to the ground and wept into his hands. What had he done?

**Authors note: I will always translate what pyro is saying as long as it is important. If you need a translation of one of the foreign languages I suggest google translate. That's how I'm getting them in the first place.**

** I will try to upload a new chapter every Friday. Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	2. Onslaught -part 1

**SassyDakota2: Thanks for the compliment! Don't worry I will be releasing these as fast as I can.**

**Guest: Sorry he had to die. Buahahahaha! Don't worry though! There will be more of him and his counterpart. Or will there?**

**Jay12234: Thanks. Glad you like it. Sorry this on took so long. Originally it was going to be twice as long as this but I needed to get it out. I'll try to release them as soon as possible. Some of them might be delayed though for I am also working on a different fanfiction.**

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The Medic's weeping was halted when the teleporter whirred to life. Jumping up from the ground the Medic awaited the Engineer's arrival. However none came. Had something happened to the Engi? Surely not. He might be heading to resupply for some replacement metal. But he had a dispenser here. Of course the Engi didn't want to take the dispenser's metal in case he needed it! So now the Medic took his seat on top of the dispenser again.

Soon a flash blinded the Medic temporarily and a figure stood upon the teleporter. It wasn't the Engineer. It was the RED Sniper. Why was the Sniper here and not the Engineer.

"Heckenshutze! Vere is ze Ingenieur!?" the Medic asked quickly in an alarmed tone.

"I'm sorry mate," replied the sniper, gasping for breath, "He didn't make it. The BLU Heavy got'em." The Sniper was now bending over, hands on his knees. He looked about ready to vomit from oxygen deprivation. "He set up the teleporter behind a corner then when he went back around the Heavy was there waitin' for him. So I whipped out my 'cleaners carbine' but realized I was out of ammo so all that came out was a click. Then that fatty heard it and turned around, fist raised. I threw my 'carbine' to the side and pulled out my 'tribalman's shiv' and slashed 'em with it. He seemed pretty hurt already so I ran to the teleporter. As I was about to teleport that damn Heavy threw me off. He tackled me to the ground and threw his fist into my face," he gestured towards his bloodied nose that the Medic hadn't noticed before, "but then I gutted him with 'shiv' and ran for the teleporter."

"Oh mein Gott! Wir ihn brauchten!" the German said, "Vell at least he vill respawn." The Medic finished with an exasperated sigh. He had had too many teammates die within five minutes.

"Well that's the problem doc," the Medic looked at the Sniper in worry, "I think respawn is down." This was every merc's worst nightmare. With respawn down they would actually die. The last time this happened the RED Heavy, Scout, and Spy had died. However so did the BLU Medic and Soldier. Even though the BLU Medic is on the other team, the RED counterpart had been deeply saddened by this. Someone equal of your skill always somehow manages to gain a deep respect. The Medic had an even deeper respect for his counterpart. One time they had agreed to put their teams aside and work on a new medi-gun together, not that the teams new. No one had ever questioned where the Vaccinator had come from, not even the engineer. But he was dead too now.

"How do you know?" questioned the Medic in a concerned tone.

"Because of this," the Aussy took a small pistol out of his pocket.

"Vere zid you get zis!?"

"From the Scout's body." He threw the pistol into the bin labeled "Scout"

"So? Vat does zis mean. You and I both know how long it takes vespawn."

"Remember when you went to heal the Scout but he died?" the doctor nodded, "this is from that life." He paused, "He died twenty minutes go doc."

"So, maybe it iz just a delay!" the RED Medic said with panicked hope.

"Doc," the Sniper placed his hands on the Medic's shoulders, "When was the last time you saw the heavy? Or Scout? Or Demo?" demo had been easily slaughtered by the enemy Pyro for he was drinking and wasn't paying attention, "They haven't respawned. All their weapons are still lying there, including the Demo's scrumpy." The Sniper realizing what he had just said grew a frown and sunk to the ground, staring off into space. The Medic soon joined him.

"Dead. They're dead. It iz all my fault." The Medic once again started crying into his hands.

"Don't worry about it mate. It's not your fault."

"Yes, Herr Sniper, it iz. My job is to keep them safe, healthy, ALIVE! But I have failed," the Medic carried on, "I have failed as a medic and am a disgrace to this team. I don't even have a medical license! I'm just a crazed mad man."

Those words had affected the Sniper, they were very familiar to him. _"You have failed as a son. You're a disgrace to this family. You make me sick! All you do is make this family weep! Get out o' my house! You're not my son. You're a crazed gunman. So leave and don't come back OR SO HELP ME GOD!" _Those were his father's words. They had stricken the aussy to the core. The whole reason he had this job was to raise money for his 'rents. But now it was all he had left.

"Nah, mate. You've got it all wrong. It's those damn BLUs. They killed them," the Sniper said. He was trying to comfort the Medic but it was rather hard. The Sniper was an assassin, not a psychiatrist. His words seemed to help though. The Medic raised his head. He had stopped crying.

"Then they shall perish!" the German doctor proclaimed with burning fury in his eyes, "If I have to vip out every bone in zeir bodies to do so, then so be it!" he reached for his amputator and blutsauger, "Come Sniper. Let us slay those mistviehs!" The Sniper was scared now. He had only ever seen the Medic like this once. When the Medic saw a BLU attempt to murder the RED scout. He had stopped the BLU. By killing him. And every other BLU including the BLU Medic. 2fort had been a silent and old battlefield for three weeks before BLU could get more mercenaries. That was why the Medic was the oldest teammate on RED. No one had dared to try to kill him when respawn was down. They were terrified of him. Quite frankly, so was a portion of RED.

"Well, if you have your heart set on it. Then let's have a go at it!" Sniper grabbed his "tribalman's shiv" and "hitman's heatmaker" ready for combat.

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**A/N: I suggest playing "I am the doctor" at this point. I listened to it while writing. So if you listen to it should set the mood. Fight scene ACTIVATE!**

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With a grin and a tip of the hat they were off. Down the part of the sewers that lead to the BLU base. 2Fort was about to become a blood bath. With the Sniper and Medic side by side in the middle of it.

Storming up the stairs they quickly gunned down an unsuspecting soldier. The Medic still had bad memories of him. Next came their scout. Hiding behind the wall, the Sniper stood waiting. When he rounded the corner the Sniper stuck out his arm and decapitated him with a clothesline, courtesy of the "tribalman's shiv." Together as one the Medic and Sniper ran into the courtyard. There was a sentry. The sniper quickly fired his "heatmaker" with extreme precision, cutting the wire that fired the rockets. Then the Medic ran out and fired a long burst of syringes at the Engineer camped behind it. He quickly rolled over his dispenser and took cover. After taking only a few extra shots on the Sniper, the sentry was "dismantled" by a heavy blow from the Medic's "amputator." Looking behind the dispenser the Sniper and Medic found a cowering Engi holding on to his short circuit.

"Out of luck mate," the Sniper said before blowing a hole through his head. After delivering a few swift kicks to the dispenser it became dented and shattered beyond repair.

"Vait. Vat iz zis?" the Medic found a small screen attached to the former dispenser. He got a glance at the image that was on it right before it went black.

"Sniper."

"Yeah Doc?"

"Ve are the last ones left."

"Wot!? How do you know?"

"On the screen. Was a kill sheet."

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**A/N: Kill sheets are things that the Engineers have that display who's a live and dead.**

* * *

"Yeah. So?"

"Everyone on the RED side is deceased. Except for us."

"Damn. I never even thought of that."

"Ja. Me neither." They sank to the ground once again. Startled looks upon their faces.

"Well, mate. This. This is gonna be one for the history books."

"Ja." The kill sheet came back on again once more for a few brief seconds. BLU was all still alive. Except for the Engi. Suddenly a warning popped up. _ALERT! ALL RESPAWN SYSTEMS DISABLED! DISABLED SINCE 2 (TWO) MINUTES AGO!_

"Well. You were right once again Herr Sniper."

"I guess I was," he hopped to his feet, "Now let's finish these buggers off!"

"But Sniper. Ve vill be actually killing zis time!"

"Yes we will be."

"But..." Medic interjected.

"They know it too, mate. That Engineer try to kill us. That warning has been going off for two minutes. If they are still out here then they know they'd be killing us for sure as well."

"Aright," the Medic got to his feet, "let's go."

"That's the spirit!" They ran off once again.

Climbing the stairs of the courtyard they ran into the drunk grin of the Demoman. Sniper rammed his head with the butt of his gun and he staggered back. Firing a few pipebombs in the process. The Sniper jumped over them but the Medic was not so fortunate. They blasted him back against the back wall of the courtyard. He was injured. Very injured. As he fell to the ground he pulled out his "amputator" and threw it. The Sniper, with his keen sense of hearing. Heard the whistling and ducked as the doctor knew he would. The Demo was impaled in his other eye and fell to the ground clutching his face in pure agony before he bled out and died right there on the spot.

"Doc, you alright?" the Sniper asked as he helped the half-dead Medic off the ground.

"Ja, my… my medi-gun will heal me… I-I never di fix... fix the leak… It… it is good though. I-it will… h-heal me."

"If you say so Doc," the Australian sat down next to the Medic, "I'll wait with you." It took a good ten minutes for the Medic to be fit for combat.

"I am ready kamerade!" they started sneaking towards the enemy spawn. They figured there would be at least one BLU camping out inside the safety of respawn. Pressing their ears against the cold metal they heard a voice inside.

"Oh no! This is bad! Very, very bad! Leetle baby men can kill me now! Eet ees just like Heavy's nightmare!" there was a pause, "No! I am giant next to leetle baby men! I will fight like man!" The heavy sprinted out of spawn, minigun in hand, "Come leetle babies! Come fight MEEEEEE!"

"Already doing it," the Sniper said from behind. Right before he slid his "tribalman's shiv" through his back. Suddenly though the Heavy jumped forward, "shiv" still embedded in him. He let out a horrific yell and rounded on the Sniper, readying "Natascha" in the process. Before he could fire any shots though the medic loaded him full of syringes. The Heavy gasped in surprise.

"You shall not harm Herr Sniper!" quickly the German medic pulled out his amputator and stabbed the overweight Russian through the heart. Still though the Heavy continued to fight. Throwing "Natascha" aside, the fat Russian decided to instead pound the Medic with his fists and quick succession. His last blow knocked him down to the ground. Just as the final punch that would kill the Medic permanently was about to be delivered the giant BLU was distracted.

"Oi! Did you forget about me!" the assassin jumped on to the Heavy's back attempting to strangle him with his "Hitman's Heatmaker." The Heavy would have yelled in anger if it weren't for the gun which was cutting of his oxygen. Eventually though the Heavy managed to grab hold of the Sniper's head and sling him backwards off his back. The Heavy turned back to the Medic intending to finish what he started. But the Australlian had other plans. Crawling across the ground he reached up and grabbed hold of the "tribalman's shiv" which was still in the Heavy. With a firm tug he managed to rip it out. The "shiv" did exactly as it was meant to. It left a jagged gash through the Heavy's body. Blood started gushing out of the wound, forming a small puddle of the crimson fluid.

The heavy whorled around with a furious but exhausted face aiming at the Sniper. "You! _**You**_ shall die this time leetle baby man. Not giant Heavy!" As he finished his sentence the Medic reached up with all the strength he had and pulled out his "amputator" leaving yet another slot in the Heavy. It did not bleed as much but it was enough. "Gaaaaaahhh! How… could…. This…..ha….ppen." The Heavy fell on to his back, clutching at his wounds. All three mercenaries were tired and injured. For the Heavy it was certainly the end but the two REDs still had enough strength to survive. The Medic slid his "Quick-fix" so that it pointed at the Sniper. He pushed the handle forward as he felt himself blackout.


	3. Onslaught -part 2

**Atleast3olives:** **Your wait is over!**

**Jay12234:**** I'm glad you enjoy it! Sorry for the wait on this one**

** .39:**** Beggars can't be choosers. Lol.**

**Guest:**** THANK YOU! Finally someone actually voted. So long chapters it is!**

**Guest:**** Thanks for understanding buddy!**

**Dr. Hmm:**** We? What do you mean we? Are there more than one of you! Ohnoooeeesss! That would cause a subatomic collision of the molecules in the fizz of all the orange soda in the world and the only thing that could stop it would be mentos but they'd just blow everything up anyway!**

**A/N:**_**Fun Fact: "Blutsauger" means "blood sucker" in German! Again Always give me feedback! I absolutely love it!**_

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"Oi! Mate. You in there?" the Medic's eyes slowly flickered open. He was propped up against a wall. Looking down he saw his "Quick-fix" pointing at his legs, lying on the floor, held into the on position by the barrel of a sniper rifle. The "hitman's heatmaker" to be exact. He felt himself become slowly rejuvenating. He tried to get up.

"Hey! You're awake! Don't try to move," a figure, no the Sniper placed his hands over his shoulders to prevent him from moving, "you got hit pretty bad. That bloody wanker knew what he was doing." The BLU. The Heavy. The Heavy had done this to him.

"Where… where is the… h-Heavy?" the Medic struggled to get the words out, "Did… we… get him?"

"Yeah mate, we got 'em. That last pull from your 'amputator' finished him off."

"How long have I… have I been unconscious for?"

"About seven minutes." The Medic once again tried to lift him self up. This time the Sniper only observed him, not stopping him. Soon though the world began to spin around him nauseatingly. He began to stumble and fall. "Woah doc, no need to go rushing things. Your still pretty hurt." The Medic couldn't wait. He looked over at his "quick-fix" again. The tip was sparkling like a firework on the 4th of July.

"Flick the switch." The Sniper looked confused at first, but then at the medi-gun in understanding. "uhhhhh," the Australlian began. " Second one from the front, left side, just below the meter." The Sniper flicked the right switch. Immediately the "quick-fix" began emanating a bright red light. A similar glow pulsed around the Medic. He felt a surge of energy and soon hopped up to his feet, easy-peasy, with a smile on his face.

"Let's practice medicine!" The now healed German hefted his "quick-fix" and pointed at the Sniper's still not fully healed wounds. He pushed the main lever forward and watched as the healing-beam fixed him like magic. Well for all the Medic knew it could be magic. The "quick-fix" was not of his design. The administrator had given it to him for having had captured the enemy intelligence four times in one day.

In exactly 4.2 seconds the Sniper's wounds were fully healed. Now the Sniper felt quite happy as well. It was almost like his "pyrovision goggles" had been equipped suddenly. He grinned excessively.

"Mate! I've got an idea!" the Sniper said excitedly.

"Vat is it! My jolly good friend!" strange. The Medic had never said "jolly" before. How strange? *Well there is a first time for everything I suppose* he thought.

"Well. What if we just killed ourselves?! I mean, really, our colleagues are all dead, so why don't we join them?! We could have a tea party in heaven!"

The Medic though about for a moment, "Vhy not?! I think zat iz a perfect idea!" *Something is off* "How should we die zis time?" *Hold on. I didn't say that! What is going on hear?* a confused look joined the smile on the German's face. It looked almost demonic.

"I say we stab ourselves!" a confused look washed over Sniper's face as well. But the smile remained. Sniper raised his left hand, "Tribalman's Shiv" prepared for gutting. *No this isn't right at all* the Aussy thought. His right hand shot up and grabbed his own wrist. *No! I'm not dying today!* *_But of course I am.* _*No, I'm not!*_ *Yes!* __*_No_*__ *yes* __*_**NO!***

The doctor simply stood there watching the Sniper try to win a one-man arm wrestle against himself. *That looks like fun* He then stepped forward to help in the fight. *But which hand do I help?* He looked back and forth between them. One of them had a knife. He didn't really like knives, he was more of a saw person. He decided to help the non-armed (buh dum tsss). He grabbed the knife-wielding one and pulled with all his might. The arm was strong though. *Maybe if I show it a saw it will calm down and learn to like them?* He picked up his "amputator" and looked back to lefty. *hmmm. He can't hold it. He has his hands full at the moment (buh dum tsss). I'll just put it on him.* The Medic jabbed the bonesaw through the wrist of lefty. It dropped the knife. *see it's already giving up its past belief. Another successful procedure.*

The Sniper screamed in pain. He sang the song of hatred. You know the one. It's the one that consists mostly of four letter words. Sometimes the lyrics change.

Righty won the battle and the smile disappeared from the Sniper's face. Now he had to help the Medic. You know. To return the favor.

The RED picked up his fallen "Shiv" this time in his right hand, and slashed the Medic leg open. The Medic stopped smiling as well.

"Sniper! Oh mein gott! I hate you so much! Thank you though!" within a few seconds the Medic was okay due to his regeneration, "Now it's your time Herr Sniper" he quikly fixed up his teammate with his "Quick-fix" (buh dum tsss! Laugh already goddammit!)

"Aye thanks mate!" the Sniper checked his wrist for any more damages. There were none, "Well time to move on."

They started to walk down the spiral ramp but then realized something.

"Oi, what just happened?"

"I do not know Sniper. And quite frankly I don't veally care." They both dismissed the thought and continued walking. When they reached the bottom they were greeted by the large barrel of a rocket launcher.

"Maggots!" the BLU Soldier said, "you are the only ones left! I will fight you with honor as Sun Tzu would!" He tossed aside his rocket launcher and pulled his trusty "Market Gardener" off his belt, "I am Painis Cupcake!" He tilted his back so they could see his full grin and eyes under his helmet, "I will eat you!"

Without hesitation the Medic stabbed Painis with his "amputator." But nothing happended. The Soldier looked at him, "I will not fight you sister! I only fight warriors!" The Medic looked offended.

"Fine then! Sniper! Good luck!" he then sat down like it was nothing. After all what was he going to do. Painis Cupcake could easily kill all of them. The only that held him back was the Soldier whom he had possessed, who was determined to retain his honor.

So then it began. The RED Sniper and BLU Sol.. erm… Painis Cupcake, went at it with the Medic on the sidelines.

The Sniper faked a slash to the left but quickly spun and attacked from the right side only to be met by Cupcake's "Paincake" which is what he called the "Shovel" It pushed forward and threw the Sniper back who did a backwards somersault and hopped back up again. It was already upon him though for it had used its powers to teleport in front of him. It smashed down forwards with the "Paincake" which was now glowing with pure energy. Sniper deflected the blow with his "Shiv" and rammed it with his shoulder. It staggered back, surprised by the attack.

You could almost hear the "boss fight music" playing in the background. No, wait. You could hear it. The Medic noticed a small radio attached the Painis Cupcakes's back. It looked suspiciously like the Scout's "Boston Boombringer." On it were the words "Painis Partier" painted on with yellow paint. Sometimes you never knew what to expect from it.

Quickly the Sniper dodged another blow form Painis. However Painis then stepped on Sniper's foot and pushed him forward, causing him to trip and stumble to the ground.

"Maggot!" Cupcake swung down with atomic force. The Australian rolled out of the way though and the "Paincake" became stuck in the cement ground. Frowning as it tried to pull it out, Painis realized his precious was lost. Turning around with a deep frown on his face it pointed at the Sniper's "Tribalman's Shiv" and it turn to a stuffed kitten.

"Really!" The Sniper threw it to the ground and raised his fists. He swung forward with his right hand and blocked a punch with his left. Painis parried the Sniper's fist like a sword and counter with an uppercut which caught Sniper in the jaw. This however only enraged him and he let a thousand quick punches all of which caught it in the gut. It fell down to the floor in agony and whispered his last words, "You.. were a… g-good coffee cake" then its tounge rolled out and he closed his eyes. Then a little soldier ghost floated out of it and into the ceiling.

"Vell," the Medic said, "zat vas rather odd."

"You're telling me," Sniper replied, "let's get outta here." They started to walk away. Intelligence in hand because, well… old habits die hard.

"I don't think so tireur d'élite," a small butterfly knife embed itself into the Sniper's back, "did you forget about me?" Sniper fell to the ground, screaming in pain. Before the Medic could do anything he was shot in the head with an ambassador. He too fell to the ground. "and that was for the flying saw!" The BLU Spy flicked his cigarette onto the Medic. He obviously thought he was dead. He then walked out of the room. The only evidence that he had been there was the trademark balisong in a certain merc's backside.

"Mate," the Sniper was just barely hanging on, "I don't know if you're dead, but if you aren't… I'm sorry." Then he faded away. A lone tear shed itself from the Medic's closed eyes. He had lost yet another teammate. He could already feel his regeneration start to heal him. He had barely survived himself. He pushed himself up with all his strength and turned his "Quick-fix" to the Sniper. He slid the lever forward slowly. The beam didn't come out. Sniper was dead.

After about two hours of sobbing while the Medic rejuvenated he was ready for revenge. This time everyone would die. The German doctor would become infamous yet again. This time, nobody was safe. Not even the announcer. He could tell she had left the building when he made this decision. She knew. Soon, so would all of BLU.

He stormed out of the room with his "blutsauger" and his fallen friend's "Tribalman's Shiv." He left his "quick-fix" behind. He wasn't healing anyone anymore.

Just outside the intel was the resupply room. He checked there first. Inside he found none other than BLU Spy. He appeared to be dozing off. Of course he didn't expect anyone to be alive to harm him. Very quietly the Medic stepped in front of him. He then tapped on his shoulder.

The BLU double agent was greeted with none other than the RED Medic's bloodcrazed face. His face showed the most emotion it ever had. Specifically the emotion of fear. "How?!" he said frightened.

"Regeneration, Arschloch. And now you will pay!" lifting his "blutsauger" to the foe's face he let a burst five needles puncture the Spy's mask and flesh underneath. While the Frenchman was clutching his face desperately trying to remove the syringes the Medic very calmly walked behind him and very slowly slid the butterfly knife into the Spy's back. He knew just the right place to put it so he would not feel it until it moved up or down and he slid it there with surgical precision. When the Spy was done plucking out the syringes the mad scientist flicked the knife sending a sudden wave of pain all the way through the BLU's body. He fell to the ground spasaming in pure agony. Finally the Medic thrust the Sniper's "Tribalman's Shiv" into the Spy's neck. He twisted a full 360 degrees then yanked it out. The BLU Spy choked on his own blood and then bled to death. But not before the Medic made sure that the knife in the Spy's back had been slid all the way through him and out the other side.

"Zat, Vas doctor assisted homicide!" he let out a long and maniacal laugh. *Now! Who is next!* his question was answered when the pyro walked into resupply. It looked at the Medic then at the Spy, then it ran. It didn't get far for the medic had pulled the Spy's "ambassador" out of his pocket and shot the pyrotechnician in the back of the knee. He fell to the ground clutching at his injured leg.

"mmph mmph mmmpphhrim," it said through its mask. The Medic walked up to it with the Sniper's "Shiv"

"Now then," he spoke in sarcastic voice, "let's see whats underneath that mask. I'm sorry friend but I'll just have to cut it off you in order to tell!" The Medic straddled the fallen Pyro. He swung the knife and decapitated the Pyro, "oops! I missed!" yet another throaty laugh was realeased form his through. Blood spurted from its jugular coating the Medic's labcoat and face. He didn't care. There were more patients that required aid.

"Dummkopf!" a voice said behind him. The BLU Medic.

"How delightful! A man of equal expertise!" the RED dropped his weapons except for his "Blutsauger." The BLU did the same but he had only his "overdose." The RED doctor fired twenty syringes at his counterpart but then unsuspectingly threw his gun. While the BLU version was dodging the slow moving syringes he did not see the flying gun. He was hit on the nose and he started bleeding. Then the RED Medic tackled him to the ground and slammed his fists into his face. Even though they were equals, the RED had an advantage, madness. At this moment in time madness was driving him forward and nothing could stop that not even five Painis Cupcakes or five thousand Merasmuses. Delivering one last uppercut the RED Medic used all his energy in one punch which was worth it to see the BLU's head go flying across the room and bouncing off the wall.

"My diagnosis. A VERY severe headache! HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha." Nothing could stop the Medic now, NOTHING! Except for maybe…

"Mate," it was the BLU Sniper. He was clutching at his sides, severely injured. No wait. The Medic rubbed his eyes and looked again. It was the RED Sniper.

"How… How are you still alive?" the Medic asked, madness leaving his mind.

"You killed him!" the Sniper asked.

"Yes, komrade, I did. I did it for you!"

"Why?" he asked confused.

"To avenge you." The RED Sniper now stood in front of the Medic.

"What?" The Sniper fell to his knees.

"I thought you were dead!" the Medic said with relief. He was now resisting the urge to blink back tears. Eventually he could hold it no longer. He blinked. And before him kneeled the BLU Sniper. His tears had washed away the blood he had put into them when he rubbed his eyes with his blood soaked gloves. Then unexpectedly, while the Medic was recovering from the shock, the BLU Sniper slashed the RED Medic's side open. He knew he would not regenerate from that one. He had already lost too much blood.

They fell to the ground simultaneously. Everyone was dead. The Medic had killed them all in his maddened onslaught.


	4. not a chapter

Hey readers. Me again. I think I am officially going to be pushing the date to 2 weeks every time now. Because now I have extra homework and things I need to practice. I also have to work on dungeons and dragons adventures for my friends. Sorry for the inconvenience! Terribly sorry.


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